“I have a boyfriend who is sweet but…”

I have a boyfriend that is sweet but his verbal words hurt I’ve been with him for almost 3 yrs now I’m not aloud to have friends and he is always tryin to have threesome. It happened once and now he doesn’t stop talkin about it, calling me a retard or a whore. My son is 2 and is startin to yell at me the same way. I feel like I’m failing as a mom. It’s hard, I have no help from any family, I’m on my own. I really just need advice I’m at my wit’s end. My son is all I got and I don’t want him to talk to me like that.

I’m saddened, and angered, by your story. Not sad because of, or angry at, you, but your boyfriend. I’m angry, as you should be, because if what you’ve said here is true, the way he treats you is not the way a friend or boyfriend is supposed to treat you. If he acts sweetly toward you at times, but does not respect you (by pressuring you to engage in sexual acts you don’t feel comfortable doing, then demeaning you for doing them), he is not being sweet, merely manipulative. He’s just pretending to be sweet so that you will do what he wants. If he loved you, he would honor you as the smart, strong, beautiful woman you are rather than trying to turn you into someone you’re not: for you are not a retard and you are not a whore. Your boyfriend wants to turn you into someone he can control and manipulate, someone he can make weak so that he can feel strong.

You need to get out. Leave him. If you can’t leave him for your self, leave him for the sake of your sweet son; take charge of your life for your son’s sake. I’m not a professional counselor; if you can get it, counseling will help you more than I can. Perhaps you should contact your local women’s shelter.

From my heart,

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2 Responses to “I have a boyfriend who is sweet but…”

  1. I so hope you will listen to Renea’s advice. You are indeed, too smart and too strong to remain in a relationship with a man who treats you like this. Get out and seek help soon.

  2. George says:

    This is the classic circle of abuse. Guys are sweet after being abusive to win the woman back then they abuse again. Not only should she leave the guy she may want some counseling to see if this is a pattern in the men she is attracted to. I have seen too many women being abused and living out patterns of being abused and do not want to see it anymore.

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