Hello. I’m married and I know abortion is a sin. I have been with my husband for 13 years and God has really been blessing us. We moved away from my family so I have no support. I’m currently a stay home mom. It’s not what I want but I need to be home for our three children to make sure they are safe and taken care of. I’m a couple weeks pregnant and I don’t want to have this baby because I want to go back to school and have a career. I feel this will set me back. I have no one to help me, my husband is a truck driver always on the road. I feel like I would be taking care of the baby myself. I’m worried God would not forgive us with this decision and it will bring bad luck to our marriage. Please help me, I have no one to talk too. Thank you.
When this question came in, I requested help from a friend who has served in crisis pregnancy centers for years and was able to give the compassionate and informed response below.
I am so glad that you have searched and clicked your way to us and I appreciate your trust with this difficult question. I am not going to tell you anything that you don’t already know, but maybe my words will help you put things into perspective. You are already the mother of 4 children, it’s just that one child is invisible to you. You have given birth 3 times, so you know what lives under your heart. You are only 2 weeks pregnant, but every day of your child’s life has already been seen by God (Psalm 139:13-16). Because you are a mother, you know the joy of childbirth. You don’t yet know the pain of abortion. Many of the post-abortive clients that we see tell us of the tremendous grief brought on by their abortion. In fact we know that abortion can cause a number of emotional consequences, along with the possible physical repercussions. A majority of post-abortive women struggle with anxiety, depression, unforgiveness and anger. Post-abortive women have higher rates of alcoholism, drug abuse and suicide. I say this not to scare you, but to make you aware of the very real effects that abortion can have on a woman’s life. I’m sure you have heard about the potential physical impact of abortion, but the emotional effects are often far worse.
An additional impact of abortion is break-up. More than 80% of the women who have an abortion lose the relationship that they are in. This thought led me to ask, are you planning to tell your husband about the pregnancy? If so, how will he feel about this abortion? If not, how do you think that secret might effect your marriage? You mentioned that your marriage is good. Do you really want to jeopardize your future with the father of your children? I know these are hard questions, but it would be unfair to you and your loved ones not to ask them. The children you are raising stand to lose a great deal over this decision.
I know that you feel stuck at home, and I know how difficult that can be. One of the most difficult things about your situation is the lack of support that you mentioned. Whether you have an abortion or not, you need emotional support. To raise children, a woman needs emotional support. Have you found a church home where you live? If not, I would recommend that you start there. You brought up the issue of God’s opinion, so I assume that you would consider attending church. You can find out a great deal about local churches by searching the internet. I know it can be difficult to get 3 children up and ready for worship, but it is not impossible. You might look for a church that has a Saturday evening service, if that would help.
Lastly, I would respond to your statement about the sin of abortion. God’s Word tells us that Christ died for our sins. This includes the sin of abortion. Jesus’ death on the cross removes the stain of all our guilt, abortion included. Yes, God WOULD forgive your abortion, just as He has forgiven all my sins. The question is not if He would forgive you, or if He would still love you. The question IS whether you love Him enough to choose life. That is a question that only you can answer.
I truly appreciate the opportunity to respond to your dilemma, and I hope that you will find the answers for your struggle. When you look back in 5 years, what decision will you be happy with?
With love in Christ,
Amy is the stay-at-home mom of her lively teenage son, Alexander, and the wife to her loving and supportive husband, Steve. For the past 20 years, Amy has worked as a counselor at unplanned and crisis pregnancy centers. Currently, Amy also works with women who have experienced abortion and are struggling with the post-abortive issues that often follow this difficult procedure. Real Options for Women offers a 13 week study for groups of 6 women or less to address the struggles that abortion causes in women’s (and men’s) lives. Real Options is able to provide these services because of its generous donors. Click here to donate today.